LOST

Missing.
One mojo. One careful owner. Usually sunny disposition. Last seen two weeks ago.
If found, please handle with care and return to Juggle Mum.

I know exactly what it is - you see this is an adjustment period. The youngest of my two children started full time school two weeks ago so I no longer have that sense of urgency that hovering over my head. The one that makes me run my life like a military operation - I must get to where-ever by x time so I can leave by x time, which gives me enough time to arrive at nursery for the lunchtime pick up. Now there is no lunchtime pick up - I have all day.

The whole day with nothing but my own stuff to do, not running round after someone else. I remember thinking wistfully about this when I was dashing from A to B, having to think of everything in advance, so I'd always be prepared. I never forgot to pack a handheld games console to amuse my son or a pack of wet wipes. I'd never be caught short without a spare pair of clothes in the car in case the ones he was wearing became wet. I remember juggling work phone calls with emails about the blog whilst looking over proposals and recording a new vlog for BritMums, all whilst caring for my son, attending to his needs and just enjoying being with him. But at the same time, thinking of all the 'stuff' on my list that I needed to sort out. I mentally filed it away 'to do in September when I have all day'.

Well we are in September and I do have all day, but can I summon up the motivation to do all this stuff? No.

I managed to sort my recipes into an ordered folder with sections for 'soup', 'one pot cooking' and 'slow cooking'. I also managed to clear out some of my emails which I'd been allowing to back up since the start of the school holidays in July. I'm normally so organised but when it got to July it was like a switch turned in my head and I could finally start to relax a little - to let go of my schedule just a bit, because I knew that in September I'd have 'all day' to get this stuff done. I could afford to loosen my pants a bit (metaphorically speaking) but now I feel like I've stood up too fast and my pants have fallen down! And the truth is I can't be bothered to pick them up!

I know myself too well. Before long the drive, the mojo and all the energy will come back. I'm confident about that, it has gone AWOL before and come back so I know it will again. You can't deny your true self for long - it finds a way to rear its head. The trick is to accept it - accept you - exactly the way you are, because you are fab. I know that soon, I will find the motivation from inside to get on with my more serious 'To Do' pile, instead of all the non essential recipe sorting that I have been doing. I only did it so I could kid myself that I was tackling my list when in actual fact I was procrastinating, and doing the 'nice to do' stuff. I even cleaned the toilet!

I know that I will start writing my next book soon, I'll start getting out there again at business meetings, and I'll have a full diary once again. But for now, I'm kind of enjoying doing coffee mornings, taking time out to bake bread for the evening meal and catching up on my pre-recorded episodes of The Good Wife (which sounds a bit homey but is actually a bit of a courtroom drama).

I think my mojo might not be missing - just taking a rest.

Thanks for visiting! You are looking hot today! x

No comments:

Post a Comment

Share your thoughts with me - I love comments! xx

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.